What ?????

Miss Tami has asked the questions ...


What is your favorite word? supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - can't get much better than that
What is your least favorite word? No
What turns you on? Consideration
What turns you off? Cruelty
What sound or noise do you love? Rain
What sound or noise do you hate? Sirens because it is never good news
What is your favorite curse word? The c word - it's cruder than crude
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I've always wanted to be a librarian
What profession would you not like to do? An accountant - I hate numbers
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You're too early, you'll need to go back ...

Curry anyone? ....

John sent me this from work today and I haven't laughed so much in ages. It's good.


INEXPERIENCED CURRY TASTER

Notes From An Inexperienced Curry Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting
Durban from the U.S.

“Recently I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a curry cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (couple of local Indians) that the curry wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:”

———————————–

Curry # 1: Manoj’s Maniac Mobster Monster Curry

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one.
__________________________________________

Curry # 2: Applesamy’s Afterburner Curry

JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
___________________________________________

Curry # 3: Farouk’s Famous Burn Down the Barn curry

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse curry! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless curry, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call Colesburg, I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Draino. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting sh*t-faced from all the beer.
_________________________________________

Curry # 4: Barbu’s Black Magic

JUDGE ONE: Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? The bar maid was standing behind me with fresh refills; that witch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I’m eating. Is curry an aphrodisiac?
___________________________________________

Curry # 5: Laveshnee’s Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Curry using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. The bar maid saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
___________________________________________

Curry # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shat myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that vixen bar maid, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! _____________________________________________

Curry # 7: Sugash’s Screaming Sensation Curry

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of curry peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a damn thing. I’ve lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. At least during the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful. Screw it, I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.
____________________________________________

Curry # 8: Hansraj’s Mount Saint Curry

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend curry, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced curry, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he’d have reacted to a really hot curry?

So what's been happening around here ....

I went to a crop on Friday night - it was a charity one in aid of SIDS so I participated in the auction and came away with a pack of paper (just what I needed !!) but it was money to a good cause so can't complain. It was fun actually, they did quick make and takes of cards and had guessing competitions and lucky door prizes etc. A good evening all round.

Yesterday was a clean up and do an few things around the house kind of day and I did a few loads of wash. Mid afternoon I thought I'd have a 30 minute lie down and finish off a book I was reading only to wake up several hours later - oh no! - I'm not starting on the nanna naps am I? So of course last night I was wide awake so stayed up really late trying to catch up on a few overdue projects and then read for a bit in bed and before I knew it the clock said 2am.

Today is a quiet day - we always relax on a Sunday if we aren't going out somewhere for the day. It is overcast atm and it looks like it could rain at any minute. My dd comes home this afternoon having been away to camp for the last 10 days - it has been incredibly quiet around here without her. Guess I will have another few loads of washing to do tonight - she never comes home with anything clean.

Going around and around ....

John rode in the World Masters Games today. We all went down to cheer him on (well we didn't actually do a lot of cheering but we were there to lend support !). The atmosphere was quite good - lots of competitors in the centre of the track and it was really amazing to see the velodrome in person and to fully realise how steep those sides were. The crowd ( er what crowd ??) was disappointing to say the least - in fact I think there were more people competing and volunteering and serving in the cafe then actually spectating - really poor advertising and promoting from the organisers.

John had fun - I think he knew that he was in it for the experience and didn't expect to actually place in anything (at least I hope that's what he thought) and he did well considering he has only been on his bike for 6m after some 16 years and then it was a brief season so realistically he has ridden competitively since his youth and we won't go into how long ago that was !!!

He rode in the 500m time trial and then the sprint race.

5 things ....

1. why does Christopher have to get up at 6am EVERY morning?
2. I want a sleep in for just one morning - just one; that's all I ask.
3. there is only about three teaspoons of sugar in the house - bummer but that's enough for a coffee or two.
4. just what I need - a grocery shopping trip
5. why oh why did I agree to a sleepover for Christopher tonight; two full-on boys in the house .... bliss !!